Here’s a crash-course on how to punctuate and format dialog. I generally don't go over this too much in class because it's something readers pick up intuitively by reading. Still, it's worth covering because mistakes in punctuation and formatting can absolutely kill a story. For instance, I've heard of many stories and screenplays being rejected after the screeners noticed just one or two formatting errors. Rather than go over the rules, which are long
and boring and complicated, let’s streamline this by just looking at some examples.
First, let’s look at
how we use the old-fashioned tags, he said and she said. In this case, errors almost always involve botched capitalization and/or misplaced
commas.
What to do:
1) “Where are the poison darts?” he asked.
2) He asked, “Where are the poison darts?”
3) “In your briefcase,” she answered.
4) She answered, “In your briefcase.”
What NOT to do, on
pain of a slow literary death:
1) “Where are the poison darts?” He asked.
2) He asked. “Where are the poison darts?”
3) “In your briefcase.” She said.
4) She said. “In your briefcase.”
Second, another
strategy (and one I strongly suggest) is to avoid the he said/she said tags
altogether and substitute an action instead.
What to do:
1) “I can’t find my wallet.” He looked around. “Also, where are my pants?”
2) John crushed his cigarette. “There’s no way I’m trading a
mongoose for one lousy taco!”
3) Or a combo: “I
can’t find my wallet,” he said, looking around. “Also, where are my pants?”
What to avoid, unless
you want to be karmically crushed by a falling piano:
“I can’t find my wallet,” he looked around, “also, where are
my pants?”
John crushed his cigarette, “There’s no way I’m trading a
mongoose for one lousy taco!”
What to do if your character trails off:
Ellipses (...) and double-dashes (--) are often overused and misused in prose (and poetry, for that matter) but here's how they generally work. Ellipses refer to somebody trailing off in their speech. Double-dashes are for interruptions.
Examples:
1) John cleared his throat. "I thought about what you said and, well..."
Lisa waited for him to continue. Finally, after five minutes, she shook her head and walked away.
2) Sam scratched his head. "Did you find--"
"Your shotgun?" Dean handed it over. "Yeah, you dropped it in the woods."
3) "Do you"--a bullet whizzed by his ear--"think this is a good idea?"
Also, when you’re
writing a story or essay that’s going to be printed off, you should always
indent the first line of your dialog (even though websites don’t do this).
Another rule: start a
new, indented paragraph whenever you change SPEAKERS or CHARACTERS.
Example:
They reached the foot of the mountain.
Alex hooked up the gear and started climbing.
After a few seconds, he looked over his shoulder. “Be careful, Sarah!”
Sarah nodded. She put on her own climbing belt and tucked
the poisoned machete into her belt. “Of
course,” she answered, smiling.
Alex frowned. “Hey, are you planning on killing me when we
reach the top?”
Sarah did not answer.
“I certainly hope not. You have no
idea where I stashed the insurance policy!”
Group Quiz… OF
DOOM!!!
OK, see if you can
spot all the punctuation and formatting errors in the following, bad paragraph.
They kicked in the door and
rushed into the abandoned factory. Seconds later, Sam was lying on the ground,
blood streaming from the back of his head. A vampire hovered over him,
brandishing a lead pipe. Dean shook his head. “Sammie, why do you always get
your ass kicked?” He pulled out his gun. The vampire looked up, “Don’t bother,
I’m immune to bullets.” “Well, joke’s on you.” Dean said. “This one fires egg
yokes!” He pulled the trigger six times. The vampire frowned at the bright
yellow yokes splattered all over his chest, “seriously?”
